For Mother's Day

I knew I needed to go to the hospital on July 3rd, 2008. My due date was Bastille Day, July 14th, but something told me it was going to be sooner. Since it was the 4th of July weekend, traffic on highway 95 was insane. But, we had to go, so Max grabbed my bag and off we went...in his truck. Ft. Belvoir Army Hospital was our destination.

“Maybe it’s just a false alarm?” I wondered aloud.
“Well, it's better to be sure.” My mom (who was in town from San Francisco)replied.
“Yeah,” I said, “I know, I'll just be embarrassed!”

As we pulled up to the hospital’s entrance,I opened the door to the truck and jumped out. The minute my foot touched the pavement, my water broke. My pants were sopping and a puddle was at my feet.

Grabbing my mom’s arm, I dramatically screamed, “Oh my God, I'm peeing in my pants!”
“I think your water is breaking,” my mom said, calmly.
“Quick, get me a towel to wrap around myself,” I yelled frantically at Max.
“I don’t have a towel,” he replied from the driver's seat.
“Well, I can’t go in there,” I wailed, “Look at all of those guys,” I pointed to the men in uniform I could see roaming around the lobby through the hospital doors.
“Don’t be ridiculous!” My mom said, starting to close the truck doors, “This is a hospital.”
“I can’t do this. I really can’t do this,” I repeated over and over as I tiptoed into the lobby.
“Get a wheelchair,” one soldier said to another.
“No, I am OK,” I assured, “I’m not sure if my water broke or if I had an accident.”

I just out and said it. The two men and one woman in uniform laughed.

“It is hospital policy Ma’am,” said the female soldier as she helped me into the wheelchair and wheeled me up to labor and delivery; I trailed water the whole way

“I’m mortified,” I confided, as she, my mom and I rode in the elevator.
“Girl, trust me,” she laughed, “We’ve seen it before and we’ll see it again.”

With that, when we got to labor and delivery, I asked the nurses if I could use their bathroom before they examined me.

“Sure,” a nurse said with a strange look on her face, as she followed me into the bathroom.
“Thanks,” I told her, “I had to go the whole drive here.”

I guess people who have false alarms aren’t able to control their bladders.

“Admit her, she’s having a baby,” the nurse screamed down the hall.

Eighteen hours later, on the July 4th, our baby boy was born.

“I can’t believe he was born on the 4th of July,” Max said with a smile. “I wonder what age he’ll be before he realizes that the firecrackers are not really for him?”