BBQs and Colonels

Last night I caught up with my friend Peggy whose husband recently was promoted to Lieutenant Colonel. I told her how intimidated I used to be by Colonels when I first became an Army wife. Until, that is, this took place:

We were at a battalion bbq and Hail and Farewell ceremony at a Savannah Sand Gnats game...

When it came time to eat, I stood in line for my food. Max was standing nearby, talking to other Rangers. I wear glasses when I drive, and after the following situation happened, Max suggested I that wear them all the time. Once I had my plate full, I shifted away from the food table to look for Max. I have always said that identifying Max with other Rangers around was hard for me...they all sort of looked the same in uniform.

At this event, no one was in uniform so, theoretically, this shouldn't have taken place.

Convinced I had spotted Max talking in a small group of men, I quietly approached their circle, with my food in hand. As I eased my way next to Max, well at least, I thought it was Max, I gazed around the group and but did not recognize a soul. “Maybe these are all people he has not introduced me to yet,” I thought to myself. With that, I looked up only to see that in fact, I was not standing next to my husband at all. Embarrassed, I smiled and quietly reversed myself from their circle before interrupting their conversation. I was hoping no one had even noticed me. Luckily, I immediately saw my friend and rushed up to her.

“Oh my gosh, I am completely mortified, do you think everyone saw?” I began. “I thought Max was in that group over there and went to their circle and stood next to that guy, thinking he was Max,” I said without taking a breath.

My friend laughed and asked, “Which guy did you think was Max?”

“Well, I can’t see distances too well, obviously, and I thought that one wearing the orange-ish shirt was him. Max is wearing the same khaki shorts and the same color shirt,” I remarked, trying to convince myself that anyone would have confused the two.

“Um, that guy that you’re talking about is the Colonel,” she said bursting into hysterics.

“What?” I exclaimed, horrified.

“There’s Max, over there,” she said pointing. I walked over to Max wanting to melt away from the embarrassment.

“You will never believe what I just did,” I whispered to him.

He looked nervous, “should I sit down?”

“No, no, it’s not that bad, at least I don’t think it is that bad,” I assured him.

I told him what had happened and he did not believe me. My friend came over to us, nudged me and jokingly asked, “so did the Colonel have anything interesting to say?”

Max's eyes were as wide as could be!